Her Doctor
by AgentBadWolf
Summary: The MetaCrisis Doctor ponders over what has happened ever since the Time Lord left him at Bad Wolf Bay. Although he misses his old life, he realizes that his current one is not as bad as it seems. Oneshot, Tentoo/Rose


The Doctor groaned as he slipped under the covers of his bed, relishing in the comfort the soft sheets and fluffy pillows gave him. It had been a long day, even for him. He was exhausted from searching through the alien ship wreck the Torchwood crew managed to pull up from the ocean. Looking forward to find foreign artifacts or futuristic machinery, he was disappointed to discover that most of the ship had been destroyed, no doubt from thousands of years of water erosion. All day he and a small team thoroughly searched the wreckage with nothing to show for their efforts. After many hours he finally abandoned the hunt, thinking of continuing the search tomorrow. As he left the Torchwood facility, he had the sole intention of a long shower and a good night's sleep. As a half-Time Lord, he did not require much sleep, but today was an exception. Closing his eyes, he welcomed slumber.

Barely a minute later he felt weight on the mattress and glanced over to the cause. He smiled as Rose, dressed in thick pink pajamas, joined him underneath the sheets, pulling it up to her chin. She looked up at him and returned his smile before giving him a brief peck on the lips. Rose then turned away from him and continued to pull on the sheets, which resulted in half of the Doctor's body exposed to the cool air. He didn't care, though. His body could still regulate his temperature without the assistance of the covers. Not only that, but it was Rose. Whatever she wanted he would happily provide, and that went farther than just giving up his sheets.

Ever since the Time Lord left Rose and him on Bad Wolf Bay, he swore to himself that his one human life would be dedicated to her. Rose was hesitant at first; refusing to let him in as she was convinced he was merely a copy and not the authentic. Eventually she realized that the other Doctor was not coming back. Instead she had this Doctor, a half-human duplicate who was actually here giving his life to her and was just waiting for her to accept him. And so she did. He moved in with her and they eventually married. She helped him build his identity here in Pete's World, as he had nothing other than the clothes he was wearing. No sonic screwdriver, no psychic paper, no TARDIS. Everything he had, that had been a constant in his life for hundreds of years, was taken away from him. He didn't want to admit it, but it frightened him. Without all of his belongings that was always part of the Doctor, who was he? Just a copy of the Oncoming Storm, a replica of the Bringer of Darkness? Was he a fake, possessing no right to be called the Doctor?

There were also so many loose ends; things he would never get to see. No more wild and dangerous adventures in the TARDIS. No new companions to pick up and travel with. He wouldn't even be able to see his next and final regeneration. He could never see his old friends again, like Sarah Jane, Martha, Jack, and everybody else. He was going to miss them all, especially Donna, his best friend. She was the only one who was not afraid to speak her mind, no matter the circumstances. It broke his heart to know that she could not have been able to survive the Meta Crisis. The other Doctor would have had to take her memories of them away, so she would never know that at one point in time, she was the most important woman in the universe. She would never know that she was responsible for his creation. And she would never remember the adventures they had together, like the Adipose, the Ood, Pompeii, the Library…

Incidentally, the Library was also where that one woman was, Professor River Song. She claimed to know him in the future, with all of their trips recorded in that little blue book of hers. She knew his name, too. How did she know his name? The only way she could have known was if-

Rose's soft snoring interrupted his thoughts. She fell asleep rather quickly, but then again she always did. She constantly threw herself into her work at Torchwood, pushing her body past exhaustion. Due to their mutual eagerness to rest, he never did discover what she did today. This, however, was not without precedence; occasionally the couple had nights where they were too tired to recount the events of the day. Some instances included seeing each other only at night, like today. Not exactly ideal, but he could live with it. Just having her pink and yellow self here next to him was enough.

He frowned, pondering over that thought. The other Doctor may have all the opportunities and privileges that he missed out on, but he would not have the pleasures that he had right now. The other Doctor was not married to her like he was, nor was she sleeping right next to him just as she was now. He could not kiss her at any time of the day like he could, which was honestly one of the best things about this life so far. He had always wanted to kiss her, and ever since he finished that sentence for her on that beach he had always taken every chance he got to indulge in his new opportunity. In the end, it all came down to Rose.

He glanced at her sleeping form, stretching his hand out to play with a strand of her blonde hair. In a perfect life, he would have everything. But of course, life was not perfect. Life was nowhere close to being perfect.

He dropped his hand and sighed. He did not want to be human, even if was only half of his biology. He did not want to live a domestic life, although he was beginning to see it has its perks. But he did not want this life, to be forced to travel on the slow path. His timeline just shortened dramatically; he never considered dying from old age before. He always expected his death would be a result of a daring rescue that saved thousands of lives or something heroic like that. Not something so…human. But dying from old age was now a possibility. He sure was not going to die a brave and valiant death now; his life was too short for that nonsense. He will make the most of the time he had left: helping Torchwood anyway he could and enjoying the pleasure of his wife's company. Again, not the ideal lifestyle but it was better than nothing.

The Doctor stared at Rose's wavy hair as a thought struck him. This was the only happy ending he would ever have with Rose. If the Meta Crisis never occurred, she would have continued to travel with him. And although they would have many adventures, the inevitable day would come where she would be taken away from him. His two hearts would not be able to handle that, not again. Furthermore, Rose would never have the chance of experiencing a regular human life. He could not take that away from her as well. In the end, this was the best thing that could have transpired. And, he silently chuckled, if the Meta Crisis never happened, then Donna would have never stopped the Daleks. They would have exterminated all of them and the universe would have been doomed. So really, the Meta Crisis was a good thing. He was a good thing.

The Doctor snuggled up closer to Rose, his chest meeting her back and his nose encompassed in her soft hair. He did not bother to deny the fact he had insecurities; Rose even knew he did. She had felt guilty later on about how she refused to believe he was the same man she had traveled with all those years ago. She now reassured him that he still was the Doctor, but he couldn't help but disagree. He used to cling to the hope, the thought that he was still him, but he began to accept that he was not. The Doctor was still out there, saving lives and roaming the universe. He was not supposed to be a married man with a job at Torchwood, living in a flat with doors and carpets. The Doctor was not…well, not him.

He felt something brush against his arm and noticed Rose had reached behind her to grab his hand. Once grasping it, she squeezed it briefly before relaxing her grip. Grinning, he kissed her shoulder and closed his eyes, taking in her scent and listening to her soft breathing. _The_ Doctor may not have a domestic life such as this. No working long hours. No cuddling and kissing. No permanent residence other than the TARDIS. On purpose. But if that's so, then maybe he no longer wanted to be _the_ Doctor. As he nuzzled the back of her neck, he decided he wanted to be _her_ Doctor.


End file.
